Solving puzzles

Hi there,

My name is Ted. They named me after the nice pilot that flew me to NEBCR. But I think I have a middle name too because the lady in the white coat sometimes calls me "Thebaneofmyexistence". So I guess my full name is NEBCR Ted Thebaneofmyexistence.

Anyways, I know what the humans are up to! They are testing me to see just how smart I am! First, they wrapped my whole butt in some white sticky stuff. I think they were wondering if I am smart enough to figure out how to get it off. Well, that was a piece of cake, let me tell you. I unwrapped it in no time. Then they put a HUGE suction cup on my head, probably wondering if I can get the white sticky stuff off again. That was easy! I just waited until the humans fell asleep and weeeee, off the white things went. The next day, I showed them! This time, I got inventive and I took both the white things AND the suction cup off my head thinking that would be enough and they would let me out of the cage. Nope, they increased the stakes. Now I have a suction cup AND some foamy stuff wrapped around the suction cup to hold it in place. I love puzzles, but really, can you just let me out?

Love, Ted

P.S. My butt is healing just fine so stop staring at it!